


Short Shorts 2: Electric Boogaloo

by lordjenjen



Category: South Park
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Welcome to shit posting 2.0
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2019-10-12 12:35:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 14,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17467646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lordjenjen/pseuds/lordjenjen
Summary: A collection of short stories. Who knows how many. Rated teen unless otherwise said so in chapter title. Check Authors notes for Pairings and other info.





	1. Clyde's Great Debate 1

Clyde Donovan's Great Debate

 

“Well?” Kenny asked. 

Clyde wasn't paying attention. He was trying to do his part to plan out the best birthday party ever for himself. It was the one time of the year people paid him his well deserved attention. Sure it's because he had the best parties, second only to Token, but still. 

“Weeeeell-” Clyde hoped drawing out the word would make things clear to him. It didn't. He didn't know what Kenny was well-ing.

“Do you, ya know, have a preference?” Clyde's confusion must have been obvious, because Kenny's smile turned almost mischievous. “For, ya know, tacos or hot dogs.”

“Oh!” Clyde was happy they were helping with his party planning. “Tacos or hot dogs?”

Clyde rested his hand on his chin. It was a hard food choice. Tacos. Or hot dogs. Everyone liked hot dogs, all beef so even Kyle could eat them. On the other had, there was more variety of you went tacos. But hot dogs fit with everything.

“I don't know, man. I mean. Tacos are amazing. They are really good, you can fill them with all kinds of meats and stuff. They are convenient and easy. But they are messy to eat and not everyone likes tacos, or Mexican food for that matter.

“On the other hand, hot dogs are great too. I mean, who doesn't like a hot dog. You can always get a hot dog you like. Just slap that baby into a bun and you're good. Not to mention they are way easier to eat. This is hard.”

Clyde looked up at his friends. Tweek and Token looked confused, Craig looked like Clyde just said the stupidest thing he'd ever heard, and Jimmy and Kenny looked as if he'd just said the funniest thing ever.

“You can choose both, you know. Like you don't have to have exclusively one, or the other.” 

“Shit Jimmy, you right!” Clyde picked up his pen. “We can have both hot dogs and tacos at my party!”

Jimmy and Kenny started laughing. He wasn't sure what was so funny. 

“Clyde, we were talking about boys or girls. Hot dogs or tacos.” Token looked about done with him and he wasn't sure why.

“Well that's a stupid way to put it and a stupid question. Of course the girls are invited.”

His answer only made Kenny and Jimmy laugh harder.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Craig closed his eyes and took a deep breath, obviously trying to keep his cool. “Sexual preference.”

“Ya like dicks or vagina?” Kenny laughed. 

Kenny's phrasing made the rest of the table chuckle. 

“Ooooooh.” Clyde's cheeks reddened. “My sexual preference.”

He'd never thought about it before. He was sure he was straight. Even though he would find himself looking at one of his bro's, the internet reassured him, this was normal. He liked women. Bebe was just as cute as Token. But he often was jealous of Craig and Tweek's relationship. And it would make him question himself.

“Does it matter?”

“Not really,” Tweek answered. “Kenny wasn't sure if you wanted a male or female stripper at your party.” 

“I'll be 13! Why do I want a stripper!?”


	2. Clyde's Great Debate 2.0

Clyde Donovan's Great Debate pt 2

 

“Well?” Kenny asked. 

Clyde wasn't paying attention. He was trying to do his part to plan out the best birthday party ever for himself. It was the one time of the year people paid him his well deserved attention. Sure it's because he had the best parties, second only to Token, but still. 

“Weeeeell-” Clyde hoped drawing out the word would make things clear to him. It didn't. He didn't know what Kenny was well-ing.

“Do you, ya know, have a preference?” Clyde's confusion must have been obvious, because Kenny's smile turned almost mischievous. “For, ya know, tacos or hot dogs.”

“Oh!” Clyde's heart thumped in his chest. “Taco's or Hot dogs”

No one had ever asked him before. If he liked guys or girls more. But the truth was, he didn't know. On one hand, he obviously liked Bebe. She was really pretty and he'd do anything to keep her happy and dating him.

However, sometimes he wondered what it was like to have what Craig and Tweek have. To be able to just date your friend and have all those benefits along with making out. It was normal though, right? For guys to think about other guys. The internet said it was.

“I don't know,” he finally admitted out loud. “On one hand, girls so so pretty and soft. They smell nice and I really do like Bebe. Not just Bebe is pretty, like Heidi and Nichole are really beautiful too! It would be nice to just be surrounded by beautiful woman as they pampered me all day.

“However, guys are nice too. I mean some are completely opposite and just are handsome themselves. Not to mention you could just play videogames all day and not be yelled at because you're spending spending too much time playing online and not enough shoe shopping. It would be really nice to just not have to worry about holding in your farts all day. Plus I'm sure a guy would be better to you know-” Clyde made a jerking off motion. “Because they have the same parts so would know how to touch it better. Right?

“But I'm sure girls can be good at it too. Eventually. So I guess both?”

The table stared wide eyed at Clyde. He was confused. Why were they looking at him like that?

Kenny snorted holding back his laugh. “I meant food for your party, but if you want to-”

“Can you not?” Token asked pointing to his salad. 

“Fine.” Kenny sighed dramatically and rested his cheek on his hand. “Second out bi dude in this town and I can't get my freak on.”

“KENNY!” Tweek yelled. “GAH! WE'RE 13!”

“So? Clyde's cute.” Kenny picked up his pen. “But fine. Pizza then. Now what about your cake-”


	3. Stan's Manly Beard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can read the original thread on [Tumblr](https://super-craig-is-gay.tumblr.com/post/182129810362/what-if-craig-is-into-to-dudes-with-full-beards)
> 
> Or here's the summary.  
> [Anonymous] What if Craig is into to dudes with full beards because he likes how they feel in his hands and against his face? I’m thinking Stan would look nice with a beard >w>  
> [Super Craig Is Gay]: OOoooh I like this. ::Eyes:: I stan hairy Stan sfm

“I’m sorry Tweek. I love you, but you can’t grow a beard.”

Tweek fell to his knees crying. He knew it was true. His twink ass was forever 21 and hairless. “Craig. I can try! I’ll get facial hair implants. I’ll glue hair to my face! Please, just stay.”

Craig turned away as the sound of a roaring engine approached. “I’m sorry. I’ve already moved on.”

The motor cycle stopped in front of Craig. Stan sat on it, belly forming from the beer and lack of work out, beard as thick as a bush in full display for the world.

“Hop on toots.” He said nodding his head to the back of the bike.

Craig happily obligated, pressing himself into Stan. He wrapped one arm around his waist and the other just under his arm to stroke his beard. Stan nodded at Tweek before making vroom noises and driving off.

“Fag.” Tweek whispered as he curled into a ball on the front lawn. His Twink curse ruined his life.


	4. Fender bender (Cryle)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cryle, fenderbender au. one of them rear-ends the other, the angry confrontation ends up with a date or sth

Kyle took a deep steady breath. His therapists words coming into mind as he attempted to hold back his anger. The last thing he needed on his way into work this morning was this. An accident. And he was in it. He glared angrily into his rearview mirror as he pulled off the highway on to the shoulder. It was a nightmare to accomplish that much in morning traffic even though it was only one lane.

He took a few more breaths before getting out of his car, phone in hand, to assess the damage. Priuses were not known for holding up in even the slightest of fender benders. And this time was no different. Even though it wasn't that bad, it was still enough to make Kyle angry. He began taking pictures of his car, trying to capture as much of the damage as possible in the morning light. 

He was kind of furious the other man only took two pictures. How could one properly do anything with such little info? 

“I need your info.”

Kyle whipped his head around to glare at the man. He know he just needed to exchange insurance information with him, but still, he was mad. 

“I like how the man at fault needs my info.”

“Excuse me?” Something about his nasally monotone voice irked Kyle more.

“Ya heard me.” Kyle tried to hold it back but it was as useless as Banner holding back the Hulk.

“Look. You switched lanes with no blinker. You suddenly slammed on your breaks. And you're the one who's tail lights are out.”

“Ya were driving too fast for this traffic. Ya were obviously following too close. And my lights are not out. My car has a built in sensor that would tell me.”

The man stepped closer to Kyle. “Your fucking Prius sucks because your tail lights are out.”

“My car sucks!? What da fuck are ya driving over there? Ya wife's car?”

“At least I'm not a stuck up Prius driver. ‘Oh my car is better because it's a hybrid.’” The Man was clearly trying to mock Kyle. “Eat ass. So is mine and I paid less. For the same thing. Also your insults suck. I'm gay.”

“‘Oh, I'm gay so I'm aloud to be a terrible drive.’” Kyle mocked. He couldn't stop once he started. He just had to vent it all out. “I'm fuckin’ gay too-”

“So we're both terrible gay drivers who care enough about the environment to buy a hybrid but not enough to deal with fully electric cars.”

“Because they fuckin’ suck more dick than both of us put together.”

The man let out a little chuckle. “It doesn't help this city still isn't electric car friendly.”

“No. It doesn't.” Kyle shoved his phone into his pocket. “Who the hell claims to be “eco friendly” and all that shit, but don't got electric chargin’ stations for the most eco friendly cars around.”

“Every town in Colorado.” 

“God, so true. Like we could easily fund them with the extensive amount of money we get from our beloved pot tax.” 

“Number one tourist attraction for Colorado. Legalized Marijuana.”

Kyle let out a little laugh. “We're closer than Washington and won't shove coffee shops and Twilight down your throat.”

“Cheaper than California and 20% less forest fires.”

Kyle wasn't sure what happened but he suddenly felt a lot better. “Let me give you my information.” He pulled out his phone and opened his insurance app. 

“What happened to your accent? You no longer sound like a relic from Jersey Shore.”

“My family is from New Jersey. It comes out when I'm angry.” He got that question often enough, he just shrugged it off. 

The man hummed as he Airdropped his info to Kyle. “But seriously. Your break lights are out.” 

Kyle looked doubtfully at the man. “Alright, Craig Tucker. Go press my breaks.”

The man walked past Kyle and did just that. When he pressed on the breaks, his lights came on and then, they were not. 

“Press them again and keep the pedal down!” Kyle yelled. 

Craig did as instructed and sure enough, his lights came on and then we're out. Kyle glared at the car. Craig was fucking kind of right. He'd just been in to have his oil changed and the dealership said his blinker light was out. He had a feeling they were responsible. And they were going to pay. 

“You're right.” Kyle said when Craig joined him. “They come on and then almost immediately turn off.”

“Told you. Wanna sit in my car and talk while we wait for the cop?”

Kyle had to admit. It wasn't a bad idea. The cops could take hours to show up and it would be nice to talk with him more. He called his boss and told him what had happened before getting into the car. Immediately, he began judging the others car. He felt his Prius really was superior but kept it to himself. 

When the cops finally shower up three hours later, Kyle was a little disappointed. He'd enjoyed talking with the other man about whatever came up. They had similar taste in music and video games. It wasn't often Kyle found a gay man into the same things he was.

“Alright, who hit you from behind?” the officer asked.

Both Craig and Kyle starer confused at the man. 

“What!?” Craig finally yelled. Even during their bickering, he never truly yelled.

They all gathered around the back of the car to look at the damage. Sure enough, Craig had obviously been hit from behind. Kyle set a comforting hand on Craig's shoulder. 

“Dude. Did a truck hit you and knock you into me?” 

“Sure looks like it.” The officer made a few notes and turned around. “Lucky for you folks there's a traffic camera right there. We'll pull the footage. Hopefully we can run some plate numbers. And charge the person with a fleeing the scene. In the meantime, let's get your statements.”

Once both men had given the police what was needed, they were given an incident report and set loose. Kyle felt bad for Craig. He wondered if his dad could manage to make the Prius dealership pay for damages to both cars in case his insurance wouldn't come through.

“You wanna go get lunch?” Craig asked. 

Kyle was a little confused considering the circumstances. “Are you asking me out on a date?”

Craig jammed his hands into his pockets and shrugged. “Not the weirdest way I've gotten a date but sure. I already called out sick so I'm free the rest of the day.”

Kyle smiled at what appeared to be Craig's embarrassed state. It was subtle like many things about the mad he's discovered the past few hours. He liked it. 

“Yeah. Sure.”


	5. Rare Pair Twendy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rare Pare Wendy Tweek,

“It just sucks, ya know?”

Tweek leaned on to the counter, closer to Wendy. He wasn't sure when he developed a crush on her. It was just a stupid tiny little thing, but his bisexual heart still over reacted anytime she was close. He felt like his first kiss with Craig all over. 

“Yeah. I do. It's like everyone just expects the person you were dating at 10, you're going to be with at 20.” And Tweek really did understand. People kept trying to get him back together with Craig, but they both just weren't in the relationship anymore. They stayed good friends though. “That's not how this works, man!”

“Oh my God, right!? And dare you stay friends. Like I can be just friends with my ex. They are dating someone else!”

“And heaven forbid you be anything but straight or gay. The backlash from trying to date someone as a bisexual is just- gah! It's so infuriating, man!”

Wendy took a sip of her tea, side eyeing some people obviously listening into their conversation. They turned away slightly ashamed at being caught, but obviously we're still listening in.

“Seriously. I dated Bebe for a month, but everyone just thinks she did it for attention from guys and that I'm a lesbian now.” She slammed her paper cup into the counter angrily, causing Tweek to jump a bit. “Like fucking bi people exist!”

“I know man! We aren't confused or pretending. It's not gay erasure if I date a dude for seven years and then date a chick! I was never gay! I've been bi the whole time!” 

“It's not just a stepping stone to being a lesbian. If I date a chick, I'm bi! If I date a dude, I'm bi!”

“It's like they expect us to date both at the same time! I can't do that man! It's too much pressure!”

Wendy placed her hand on Tweek's arm before he could start unconsciously pulling his hair. Her touch drug him out of his mini rage, reminding him he had a crush on her. His heart thumped in his chest as she smiled at him. 

“Thanks Tweek. You're a good friend.”

Friend. The word echoed in Tweek's mind. Friend. Was he just a friend to her? He had to know. It wasn't fair if he kept these feelings to himself and harbored a crush. What if he turned into one of them. He needed to get it out and get over the heartbreak.”

“Don't take this the wrong way, but -nhg,” Tweek could feel the anxiety coming on. He knew he just had to deal with the consequences, but rejection sucked. “I like you and would love to take you out sometime.”

Wendy was quiet. She took a long drink of her tea, probably to hide her laughing expression. Tweek couldn't handle it. The wait was worse than the rejection. 

“I'm flattered, Tweek, I really am.” Tweek's heart broke. He could feel it drop to the pit of his stomach and wanted to throw up, “but as a feminist, I have to ask you out first. I don't make the rules, I just enforce them.”

“What?” Tweek wasn't sure he could be anymore confused. Was Wendy playing him?

“Would you like to go out next Friday night? As a date?” 

Tweek smiled, a weight lifted off his chest. “Yeah! That's- that would be- yeah! Thadbe great!”

“Alright. It's a date. Still makes us both Bi!” Wendy turned towards the people eavesdropping. “Yeah. You guys.” Wendy pointed between herself and Tweek. “Bi-date.”


	6. Rare Pair Twenny

Rare pair Twenny

It was just cake. Just a stupid fucking cake. There was no reason for Tweek to be sitting on the kitchen floor crying, but there he was. 

The first cake layer had broke when he was attempting to remove it from the pan. Between the greased pan and parchment paper lining the bottom, there was no reason for it to fall apart. It wasn't that big of a deal, though. He still had one more layer and it was fine. He let it finish cooling as he made the frosting, trying to not get impatient as he sifted in five cups of different powders. 

As he applied the crumble coat, chunks of cake began falling off. Reason and logic left Tweek. Instead of just pausing a moment to decide the best course of action to fixing it, he tried to hold the pieces in place with the frosting. This just cause more chunks of cake to fall off and stick to the frosting and spatula. In one last desperate attempt, Tweek flopped a large glob of frosting onto the the cake, hoping to just cover it while it was still semi cake shape. Tweek let go of the handle in defeat and stared at the monstrosity that was supposed to be a two layer cake and was left as nothing but a pile of goop and crumbs. 

The perfect metaphor for his life. He stared at it, seeing all of his mistakes that led him to this moment. Staying in a loveless relationship, having to move back home, unable to hold a job (no fault of his own but it always felt like it), suffering through depression, no friends. 

Tweek slid down the cupboards and just sat on the floor stunned for a moment before all emotions took over and he began to cry. Not so much over the cake, but what the cake suddenly represented to him. How no matter what happened, he was destined to fail. Even if he wanted to fix it, it was too late. Not just the cake, but his life. It took everything in him not to scream and pull out his hair. 

“Hey, what's wrong?”

Tweek didn't bother to look up at Kenny. He just gesture to the cake and continued with his crying. The sound of things clinking in his kitchen just confirmed in Tweek, the cake was a horrible mess, so much so Kenny was dumping it for him. He felt Kenny sit down beside him, close enough his arm brushed Tweek's, obviously to give Tweek some pity sympathy. 

“This is some really good cake, dude.” 

Tweek was stunned out of his crying. He looked up through hazy, tear filled eyes at Kenny. The man had the whole cake on a plate, one fork in his mouth, and a second fork sticking out of the cake. 

“Super rich. Like I'm not sure I could eat a whole normal sized piece in one sitting, but god damn, dude. This is really fucking good.” Kenny shoveled another form full into his mouth before offering the plate to Tweek. 

“It's a mess, man.” Tweek's voice broke a little as he tried to hold back crying because Kenny, who he was making the cake for, praised him. 

“It's a hot mess! But really fucking good. Just goes to show you can't judge a cake based on looks.”

Tweek laughed a little as he sniffled a bit, wiping his nose on his apron that needed washing anyways. 

“It's just a cake,” he stated picking up the fork meant for him. 

“Maybe so, but my amazing boyfriend made this amazing cake. And judging by the amount of dishes, I'm guessing the frosting too. God it's so good! I'm going to die from this and it will be worth it.”

Tweek smiled as Kenny took a drink from the bottle of wine he had in the fridge and handed to to Tweek. Tweek's life was the cake, a huge mess, but Kenny was there unjudging to help Tweek through it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this happened where I was trying to bake my way out of a depressive episode and just fucking failed at it.


	7. Rare Pair Steek

Rare pair Steek

 

In the beginning, it made no sense to Tweek why his parents would hire someone to work after school in the coffee shop with him when they didn't even pay him for doing the same job. Actually, it was more responsibility. Tweek had been pissed from the get go. His parents just said, he should be glad they didn't have to sell him off to make ends meet. They were, just in another way. However, how parents did start giving him a decent allowance, so it was okay. 

All of that went down nine nine months ago. And here he was, standing in front of Stan, holding a latte with “Prom?” written in foam art. And it suddenly made sense. Every little thing Tweek hand noticed and thought about, chalking it up to some conspiracy about Stan wanting to ruin his parents business for the time they backed out of sponsoring the little league football team because Tweek finally got through that he didn't want to go to play. Tweek shielded himself from Stan's strange inquiries, giving short or uninformative answers. Even if it was something like “What do you do in your free time,” Tweek refused to give him a serious answer. He took every little thing as Stan trying to use Tweek. 

But now he realized Stan has been flirting. The light touches weren't because he was trying to pickpocket stuff or weaken Tweek. The questioning had been because Stan was trying to get to know Tweek better, not to pry information. Stan wasn't here to ruin them, he was here to woo Tweek. 

Tweek was stupid.

But now he was off guard and didn't know what to do. He should say no. If they were working together, Tweek didn't need that weirdness of dating a coworker. 

He didn't need the weirdest of rejecting one.

But if he rejected, Stan would quit. And he could say yes. But would Stan still want go after Tweek said no?

Maybe Tweek should quit. He couldn't quit. His parents wouldn't let him. 

This was too much! 

Stan must have noticed something, because he took the cup from Tweek and began rubbing his shoulders. 

“Dude. You can say no. I won't make it weird. And if it is, I can just quit.” 

Tweek tried not to dwell on what that meant. But the thought of Stan not being that interested in him was nagging at him. 

“I just-” Stan let out a loud breath. His nervousness calmed Tweek a bit. “I begged your parents to let me work here so I could get to know you better. Tucker wouldn't tell me jack shit about you because he's a prick and this seemed the best alternative because you're always here. I don't need the job. I liked it because it meant I got to know you better. Not the stupid things people worry about like favorite color. I mean like-”

Stan stepped back from Tweek a bit. He crossed his arms and sort of shrunk in on to himself.

“I mean like important things. You don't actually like being here all the time. You're really good at looking beyond what's just in front of you to things much deeper that others can't see. You're actually quite calm when you're left to do your thing. You get this cute look on your face when you've completed something. You like making things. And, even though you seem to hate me, I wanted to ask you out.” Stan ended with a shrug and turned to the floor. 

He wasn't pretending to like him. Tweek wasn't sure what to do. There was no harm in going yo prom, right? 

“I don't hate you.” Tweek let out a nervous laugh. “I thought you were trying to sabotage my parents.”

“Oh. That totally crossed my mind. Your parents are assholes to you. But I wouldn't make you suffer.”

Stan's honestly made Tweek laugh again. He picked up the paper cup. The foam and melted and spread out a bit, making Prom? harder to read. The dance was still two months away. Plenty of time for Tweek to get mentally prepared for an event along with physically as far as looks go. Stan really did notice things about him.

“If it's too much pressure-”

“It's not.” Tweek cut Stan off. It could be fun and maybe they could go on a date before then. “Just-nnnhg- a lot of planning to do.”

Stan's face lit up. “Yeah. Yeah! Planning prom. Us. Just I gotta, uh, go throw up a bit from… well… excuse me.”

Tweek smiled. Stan really did like him.


	8. Happy Meals and Depression (Crenny)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “Wow, somebody needs a Happy Meal.” Kenny to Craig

Craig was in the same spot Kenny had left him. His heart broke for the man, breaking up after a 14 year relationship had to be difficult, but Kenny wouldn't know. His longest was three months and he was 10 at the time.

“Hey Craig,” Kenny tried to sound normal yet sympathetic at the same time. “How ya doin?”

“Life is pain.” Craig's already monotone voice sounded dull and empty. Kenny's heart broke. “There's nothing but pain. You think you're in love and that your happy, but life likes to take that all away. People like to rip your heart out from your chest and piss on it.”

“Alright, calm down there Stan.”

Craig let out a snort. “Stan doesn't know real pain. He flips between Wendy and Kyle so much. If one breaks up with him, the other will take him back. He he doesn't know love, just lust. People willing to take his dick and he uses that. Exploits it. What Tweek and I had was special. Or at least I thought it was-”

“Wow. Okay. Sounds like you could use a happy meal.”

“You think this is a joke?” Craig sat up to glare at Kenny. “You think this is funny? Tweek left me because he wants to “figure out who he is” settling down. I gave him my everything and he just wanted to use me like some sex toy. Like some stepping stone to being gay or bi or whatever he is calling himself this week. He- he…”

Craig collapsed back onto the couch, silently crying. Kenny watched for a moment as Craig's eyes glossed over and became unfocused. He hated seeing the man like this. While he got why Tweek wanted a self-exploration journey, the man had told Kenny numerous times Craig was his soul. But things change. Kenny just hoped Craig didn't get suicidal on him. That maybe a good weeks of crying would get Craig over the worst of the break up.

Kenny walked over to the couch and squatted in front of Craig. He wiped the man's tiers away before rubbing his shoulder.

“Hey, it gets better. Not now. Maybe not even in a week, but eventually it will. Maybe by then Tweek will realize his mistake and come back. Maybe you'll have moved on yourself. Or maybe you will discover things that will make breaking up just hurt less, but eventually, you'll be okay. And until them, I'm here for you pal.”

Craig sniffled. His eyes didn't look quite as dead anymore and Kenny considered that a win.

“Thanks, Ken.”

Kenny ignored his heart thumping at the use of his nickname. “Your welcome. Now do you want a hamburger or chicken nuggets.”

“I don't want a happy meal.”

“But they come with a NASA themed toy!”

Craig was quite as he stared at Kenny. He couldn't decide if the broken man was thinking or wanted to kill him and honestly he wouldn't be surprised either way.

“Nuggets. Can't eat a burger lying down.”


	9. Do you want me to leave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “Do you want me to leave?” Creekenny

It wasn't the first time Tweek felt this way. It was obvious to him Kenny and Craig shared something special. The way Kenny curled into Craig on the couch. Craig's slight smile as he turned away from the TV to look down at the man. That use to be him. Now he felt like an outsider in his own relationship. It was an odd and terrible feeling. He hated it.

“Do you guys want me to leave?”

He wasn't sure what caused him to vocalize his thought, but it was too late to take it back.

Both men looked at him confused, oblivious to their exclusion of him.

“Why would you think that?” Kenny asked sitting up. “There's plenty of room for you.”

“That's not what I meant. You two-”

“Tweek?”

Breathing suddenly became harder for Tweek, like someone sitting on his chest. Tweek grabbed his hair, curling in on himself as panic and fear began to override whatever senses he had left. He was pretty much breaking up with them, they would be fine without him around. But for Tweek, they were a huge part of his life and now that life was falling apart. He was going to lose them both. He'd already lost them both to each other and there was no going back. 

“Tweek, babe-” Craig's voice sounded so far away, like he was speaking though through water. 

Tweek's ears began ringing as Kenny and Craig to talked. He couldn't hear what they were saying. He didn't want to. He didn't need to hear them talk about how he's broken. He didn't need to hear the pity in there voices as they told him it was nothing. He was overreacting. He didn't need to hear any of that because he was already telling it to himself. 

It was honestly a surprise they put up with him for this long. Tweek made things complicated rather than helpful. They would be better off without him.

A gentle hand stroked his hair, bring Tweek's attention to outside forces. He noticed another rubbing his back and did his best to concentrate on them. Slowly his thoughts drifted away, his body and mind felt numb after feeling such intense emotions. As the ringing dulled he realized Kenny was singing. Tweek did his best to concentrate on the words being sung. 

And image flashed in his head. 

“Are you singing the leek song?” Tweek croaked. He realized he'd been crying and quickly wiped his face embarrassed.

“It's called Ievan's Polka and I'll have you know is a beautiful Finnish classic.”

“Okay, but why do you know it?” Craig asked, his hand never stopping it's trek through Tweek's hair.

Kenny just shrugged his shoulders. “Are you okay, love?”

Tweek's heart broke at Kenny's pet name for him. Love. Yeah right.

“I guess.”

“What's wrong?” There it was, the pity in Craig's voice.

“You guys,” Tweek said, suddenly angry. He sat up and moved away from the two the best he could on the floor. “You're obviously more in love with each other than me.”

“What actions have led to you coming to this conclusion?” He hated when Kenny would tread lightly around him. Like words would set him into another panic attack. They would, but it still pissed him off.

“Loads! Like on the couch. The look you guys shared says it all! I'm obviously a third wheel here and-”

“Tweek. Stop.” Tears began dripping down his face again. “We had a moment. You have moments all the time with Kenny. I see the way you look at him when you two are making some new treat in the kitchen. It's like you're madly in love with each other.”

“Craig gets that same look on his face when you guys have a moment that he does when he's geeking out. And honestly it's adorable. It's like you're his most treasured possession. And I'll get jealous for a moment.”

“But I just feel like I don't belong here anymore.”

Craig reached out and pulled Tweek into his chest. He felt the man's tears hit his head as he squeezed him tightly. 

“Please don't leave us.”

Kenny awkwardly hugged Tweek  from behind. The man would make anything work if he wanted to bad enough and he obviously wanted in on the hug. 

“I wish you would have told us you were feeling like this sooner. Tweek, we love you and you're every part of this as we are.”

“Please don't leave.”

People would never guess it was usually Craig who got emotional at times like this. It wasn't something people were privileged to see. But for some reason, having Craig cry into his hair was more reassuring than just being told he was loved. 

“I'm sorry. I'm such a fuck up.”

“No you're not,” Kenny whispered, readjusting Tweek into Craig's lap before hugging Tweek again. “We all just have to work on this. We don't want you to feel left out. You belong with us. Our bodies will probably fuse together like this because we fit so we'll together.” 

Tweek let out a chuckle sob into Craig's chest. Kenny was right, they did belong together. Being sandwiched between the two felt so perfect.


	10. Idiots (Mature)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.” Staig

Drunk and barely walking straight, the two managed to make it to the the house. Stan pushed Craig against the siding as hard as he shoved his tongue down the niorette’s throat. The kiss was heated and sloppy and if they weren't on such an important mission, he'd let it continue.

Craig let out a desperate groan as he pushed Stan off him. “First we get what we came here for. Then we continue.”

“Right. Right. But breaking and entering is pretty hot.”

Craig resisted the urge to pin Stan against the house and fuck him. The adrenaline pumping through him just seemed to add to their sexual tension.

“Remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.”

Stan let out a moan. He knew it was because he had a language kink. Craig once again had to hold back all of his urges.

Craig gave the slightly shorter man a boost into the open window. He heard Stan hit the floor with a thud and he cringed. It's suck to get caught before they even got to their prize. Craig held his breath, waiting for something. When nothing came, Stan poked his head out and helped Craig in. He fell on top of Stan, creating an even louder noise than the first one. With his face so close, he began kissing the man beneath him. 

“The fuck was that?” They heard.

Craig bolted for the closet and opened it. Stan followed squeezing in next to Craig. The closeness did nothing for Craig's erection. He ground his dick into Stan's leg, before kissing him again. He couldn't stop himself. He became an adrenaline sex junkie all because of Stan. This stupid man created such a turmoil of emotions in him.

Stan pulled away and reached behind Craig. 

“Hey my jacket.”

The door opened. The two were face to face with one Kyle Broflovski and his bat wielding fury. Craig didn't move, dick hard and mid hump on Stan's leg.

Stan seemed to remember the plan.

“Hola, Kyle, maravillosa noche!”

Craig pulled back and glared at Stan. “Idiot. I speak Spanish. You're deaf,” he said in Spanish. 

Stan moaned. “Why would you speak Spanish when I'm better and you speaking it makes me want to pound your ass into every surface.”

“Because I look like I would speak it.”

“And I don't.”

“You're both fucking idiots. We were all in the same Spanish class,” Kyle interrupted in Spanish. “The fuck are you doing having sex in my closet!?”

Stan grabbed the item off the hanger. “Gato.” 

“That's go you dumb fuck!” Craig yelled before kissing Stan again. The idiot turned him on.


	11. Poke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.” K2

 

Kenny was bored. Kyle was supposed to be playing the new Call of Duty with him, but he'd become engrossed in some school work.

That was due in three weeks. 

They only had he weekend for video games. During the week Kenny was doing odd jobs; yard work, under the table janitor, under the table dishwasher. Honestly the number of businesses that were willing to pay a 12 year old under the table for meaningless work was appalling. No one took anyone's jobs, businesses were just not offering them like they should.

Today was the first day Kenny could play and Kyle was ignoring him. He'd been patient but he'd also been waiting for three hours. He was done. 

Kenny scooted close to Kyle. They were both big brothers so annoying him to play with him would have to be something incredibly bothersome. 

He extended his pointer finger and gently poked Kyle's thigh.

“Just five more minutes.”

Kenny didn't answer, he just poked Kyle again. 

“I'm almost done, I swear.”

He moved up, poking Kyle's side. The boys face twitched a bit as he tried to move away from the poke. Kenny repeated the action, slowly making his way upwards. Nothing was safe. He poked his hand, his arm, his chest, anywhere, Kenny could reach. When he finally ran out of space to poke, he poked the boy's cheek, his eye twitching every time. He tried to move away, but Kenny just followed. He was going to get his friend to play by any means necessary.

“Kenny. Stop.” The agitation in Kyle's voice was obvious.

“I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

Kyle's growl was Kenny's only warning. The boy quickly turned, grabbing the zipper on Kenny's jacket and pulling down a bit. Kenny felt confused, which he had to admit on Kyle's part was well played, because why not just grab or bite at his finger. That's what siblings do. 

Instead, Kyle moved in, giving Kenny a little kiss on the lips. 

Kenny didn't even realize how close he was until that exact moment. Kyle even closed his eyes, which Kenny thought was the cutest thing ever. His mind went blank as Kyle pulled away, returning to his project with a slight flush to his cheeks. 

Kenny grinned. He'd never thought of Kyle like that. He'd never thought of any boy like that, but the realization that he could kiss boys as well as girls opened up a whole new realm of possibilities. 

He poked Kyle's cheek.


	12. Crash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “Squeeze my hand if you can hear me” crenny :)

It should have been him. He was driving. The semi hit his side of the car. Yet he recovered almost fully in a week. A broken arm and whiplash was all he had to show for the accident. He was lucky they said. He didn't feel lucky.

“Squeeze my hand if you can hear me.”

His fiancee's hand rested in his own. It was as limp and unmoving now as it was the day after the accident. Two weeks without any sign of life. He knew what he should do, it's what he would want if he was living on life support. Doctors were incompetent in South Park. At this point, he was sure the doctor was just trying to give him hope that his love wasn't dead. 

“Please, Craig.” Kenny rest his head on their hands. 

He'd already cashed in his favor from both God and Satan, but he was with neither of them. Craig was stuck in limbo as Kenny himself had once been in. There was only one option left.

Kenny sat up. He gave Craig last kiss before he stood up, never letting go of Craig's lifeless hand.

“Go ahead.”

Kenny didn't move. He kept his eyes on Craig as they turned off Craig's life support. The beeping turned into one long solid tone. The noise seemed to go on for eternity before someone shut the machine off. The sound of the doctor pronouncing Craig's time of death vaguely registered in the back of Kenny's mind. The ache in his chest was something he knew he would never forget. Craig's completely still form against the white hospital sheets would forever be eched into his memory.

The tone stopped, the last bit of hope Kenny had vanished, and a silence more deafening then anything seemed to stretch on for eternity in his mind. All hope was lost and Kenny knew there would be nothing to bring Craig back to him.

 

A beep echoed in the room as Craig's fingers twitched against Kenny's hand.


	13. Ambien

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “Sorry I woke you up.” Twenny

 

Kenny felt something off. He wasn't sure if it was from his late nights or being woken from deep sleep, but something wasn't right. It was as if someone was watching him.

Kenny opened his eyes and was greeted with a face entirely to close it his own. Kenny let out a startled yell and moved back on his bed,getting a better view of the intruder. 

“AH! Tweek! Jesus Christ what are you doing?”

The blonde stared at Kenny a moment, blank look on his face. Tweek had warned Kenny he was on a new sleeping medication, Ambien. Kenny suddenly felt like he should have looked up the side effects.

“Sorry I woke you up.” Tweek's voice sounded like he was still sleeping. “I just needed-”

Tweek stopped mid sentences, his eyes not quite meeting Kenny's. He hoped the man didn't fall back asleep standing up, carrying him back to his room would be too much of a wake up exercise. Kenny leaned forward, to poke Tweek's chest.

“Hey bud-”

Tweek ducked his head, his lips meeting Kenny's own in a simple kiss. Kenny's heart pounded in his chest. No way was he going to take advantage of an obviously sleep waking Tweek, but he wouldn't mind him doing that again. 

“Yeah. That's what I needed. Maybe now I can sleep in peace.” Tweek pulled back Kenny's covers and crawled into his bed.

Kenny was too stunned to do anything. He just watched Tweek snuggle into his pillow and drift back into sleep mode 


	14. Hopelessly in love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt “I think I’m in love with you and that scares me half to death.” Crenny

 

Kenny's heart began racing the moment he locked eyes with Craig's. It had been weeks since he'd last seen him, but that wasn't enough time. He wouldn't even be looking at him now except he decided to show up at his.  The first time in the seven months they had sleeping together. The first time in the two years Kenny had lived there. Craig had never been over, so why was he now? Why when Kenny wanted him to stay away?

Because Craig is an asshole.

“Can I come in?” To most people, Craig sounded like his normal flat toned self, but Kenny heard the slight influx in his voice and stepped aside.

He said nothing, not trusting himself to keep his emotions in check, as he closed the door and turned to the intruder.

“Why are you avoiding me?”

“I'm not.”

“You are too!” It had been a long time since Kenny had heard Craig raise his voice. “You literally ran away last week when I saw you, knocking over a girl scout cookie table to get away. You didn't even stop to get a box of Samosas! Your favorite cookie!”

“I wouldn't call them my favorite-”

“You begged me to pick you up a box then proceeded to eat the entire box, growling at me when I asked for one. While you were fucking me, you ate them off my nipples.”

“What's your point?” If Craig came over just to shame his cookie eating habits, he was doing a great job. He hoped this was all he came over for.

“You're avoiding me. Why?”

Kenny was silent for a moment. He could off himself and hope Craig forgot about this. He'd never have to confront what he was feeling. Maybe even start a fight with him and hope he managed to get Craig angry enough to leave him alone.

“Look if you don't want to fuck around anymore, just say so. We're adults.”

“That's not it,” Kenny blurted out. He didn't mean to but his mouth just moved before his brain did. 

“Then what is it?”

“I think I'm in love with you and that scares me to half death.”

“Oh.”

Floodgates suddenly opened on Kenny's emotions. Everything he'd been hiding poured from his mouth and he felt powerless to stop it. “Right? Like we told each other this was just friends having sex. And it was great but we started hanging out more and I don't know dude. I just realized that I actually like you more than just a friend. You know about my thing. What if I die and am dead so long you move on? What if you think this is too much and you no longer want to be around me? What if-”

Kenny choked on his words and he held back crying.

“I've spent so much time avoiding this exact thing. You were perfect for this! Forever hung up on Tweek. Never to love again. And it was I who fucked it up.”

Kenny felt Craig place a hand on his cheek, thumb brushing the wet trail.

“You're a fucking idiot.”

Kenny glared up at Craig. He should have expected as much from someone who only had the capacity to love one person in his entire life. 

“I've been over Tweek for months. I've been putting the moves on you for months hoping you'd break your stupid don't fall in love police.”

“You have?”

“You think I just call out people's names during sex?”

“How is that putting the moves on me?”

Craig shrugged. “It worked didn't it?”

“You're a fucking idiot.”


	15. I've Got You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 54 “I got you, it’s okay. It’s okay.” Twenny

Tweek's hand grasped Kenny's. “I got you, it's okay. It's okay.”

The force behind Tweek's voice was evident. He may currently have Kenny, but at what cost? 

“Just let go,” Kenny begged. No way was the man going to be able to lift him up to safety hanging over the ledge like that. He was going to tumble over with him.

“No. It's fine. I've got this. I've got you.”

Kenny slipped a bit. He watched, his heart stopping completely, as Tweek was pulled forward a but.

“Fucking let go before you kill yourself!”

“I'm not going to die and neither are-”

Tweek's body lurched forward again. Kenny wasn't having this. He wasn't going to let Tweek die.

“I come back asshole!” 

“Fuck you! I'm not letting you die this time!”

Kenny smacked Tweek's hand with his free one. “Let. Go.”

“No! Ouch! Stop that! GAH! KENNY STOP! I can't watch you die!”

Kenny stopped and smiled up at Tweek. “Then close your eyes, stupid.”

He watched Tweek's eyes gloss over, the strain of holding onto Kenny and preventing himself from falling was evident. Kenny's heart began pounding hard. Tweek was going to to let go. The man closed his eyes, saying words Kenny could hear but knew the man wasn't talking about olive juice. His grip loosened a bit on Kenny's hand. Kenny closed his eyes and felt himself free fall though the air. The wind rushing past was the only noise he heard as his body braced for impact.

Kenny felt himself hit and woke up, bolting upright and breathing heavily.

Instantly arms wrapped around him, comforting him.

“Shh… it's okay. It's okay, I've got you. I'm here.”

Tweek's voice soothed him. It took Kenny a hot minute to calm down. To remember if it was a dream or if he'd just been instantly resurrected. It was a dream this time. An actual incident he was reliving.

“Thanks.” Kenny laid back down, pulling Tweek with him. “I've got you too.”

Tweek chuckled. “I know. Thank you.” He placed a kiss on Kenny's forehead. And slowly they drifted back to sleep. 


	16. Protector

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “I was trying to protect you.” Crenny

Blood was an odd color to Kenny. Normally when he saw it, it was his own. It appeared a bright red in his dying moments, almost too bright, like blood in candy gore. 

However seeing someone else, someone he loved, bleed out before him, it seemed more vivid, deeper. Like a crimson on steroids. 

Why was he analyzing blood color as Craig bleed out in front of him? Because he was in shock. 

“You fucking idiot,” Kenny's voice cracked as he pulled out bandages and pressed them onto Craig's wound. “Why?”

“I was trying to protect you.” Craig's voice was soft. He ran his hand down Kenny's cheek, trying to wipe away the tears.

“You fucking- I'll come back dumbass. I-I respawn.” Kenny was full on crying. There was no stopping the bleeding. The bullet had probably hit his heart and no medic in the world could save him.

“Maybe so, but, I-” Craig coughed, blood splattered Kenny's clothes. “I didn't want to see you die. I want you to live for once.”

“But at what cost?”

Craig just smiled, a true smile. Slowly the light from his blue eyes dyed out. Kenny had a hard time processing Craig was dead. But when it finally clicked, he screamed. 

Kenny was out for blood. He turned towards the enemy team, front and center was Cartman, still laughing over his newest victim. Kenny fired his flair gun yelling his battle cry as it hit Cartman dead center on the chest.

“What the- MEDIC!” He cried, pulling Natascha into possession. The slowest weapon possible made Kenny's day better. As the gun began winding up, Kenny pulled out his flame thrower, he lit Butters and Cartman on fire, before hitting Butters with his Axtinguisher, killing him. He turned back to Cartman as the slow buffoon tried turning around, shooting bullets as he swung the machine gun around. Kenny easily stayed behind him, lighting Cartman on fire.

“Put me out! Put me out!” Cartman screamed. 

As his corpse fell to the ground, Kenny pulled his axe back out, taunted, then began hitting Cartman’s already dead corpse.

“Feel better, babe?”

Kenny spun around and held Craig.

“Don't do that again. I need you.”

“Really? He says babe and you think it's me?”

Kenny felt it, the blood dripping down his side. Craig morphed into Clyde, a slight smile on his face.

“To easy.”

Kenny wasn't going down without a fight. He heard the real Craig yell, ready to shoot with his syringe gun. Kenny picked up his flamethrower and lit Clyde on fire, making sure the man couldn't cloak and run away.

“I got you, dumbass.”

Sure enough, Kenny's health returned to full. He was glad to have a pocket medic. He hugged Craig, trying to convey the love he had through the jester.

“Yeah yeah. Let's go finish this.”

“Yes sir.” Kenny picked up his flame thrower, ready to kill. “This TF2 VR update is pretty baller.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fucking love over dramatic charaters. It's my favorite thing. Idk why. It just is.


	17. Hot Tub (Mature/Explicit)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “I can’t believe you talked me into this.” Cryle

It wasn't like Kyle had  _ never _ done something like this. He had plenty of times! Just never in Tokens hot tub, and never with Craig. Him, Stan, and Kenny had gone skinny dipping a lot. Even the one time in Kenny's totally not safe and 100% poor redneck hot tub. 

But those were his best friends. And this was Craig. It was different. He and Craig weren't exactly friends.

“We’re both adults Broflovski. Just take them off and get in or be a bitch and go back into the party. Either way this feels amazing to me.”

The whole reason Kyle even came to the stupid party was he wanted to try out Token's stupidly expensive hot tub. Hot guy dick was an inconvenient bonus.

“Fine fine. I can't believe you've talked me into this.”

“I didn't talk you into anything.” 

Kyle couldn't help but notice Craig staring him down as he stripped off his shorts. He got into the hot tub, making sure Craig got a nice full frontal view before sinking himself into the water. 

Token had said it was like being in a hot spring mixed with a Jacuzzi with all the minerals in place. He'd explained the maintenance needed to keep the tub in working order but Kyle did care about that. He wanted to experience what Token was offering and boy did it please. 

“I know it feels good but you gotta moan like that?”

Kyle blushed a little, “I didn't moan.”

“You're not even sitting in the best spot to experience the true pleasure.”

“I didn't moan.”

Craig didn't ask, he just moved in the hot tub, grabbing Kyle's hips and just pushed him to the side a bit.

“What the hell aaaahhhh god!” Kyle knew he moaned that time. There was a jet letting out a gentle, massaging stream right across his asshole and taint. It was like being rimmed by the most talented mouth money could buy. 

“And now you know the true experience of Token's hot tub,” Craig said repositioning himself next to Kyle.

Beneath the disturbance caused by the jets, Kyle could make out Craig's cock. He hated to say it, but the man seemed to have a nice looking dick, even erect and bobbing in the water. It looked tempting to Kyle. 

“Sex in a hot tub is a lot worse than it seems, but make out and a hand jobs are fine.”

Kyle met Craig's eyes and realized the man was completely serious. 

“I didn't come in here for sex-”

“Yet you're staring at my dick.”

“I hate you.”

“Doesn't mean we can't make out and give each other handy's while enjoying this.”

Kyle couldn't argue with that logic. He leaned in closer to Craig. Craig smiled slightly and moved in as well.

“Don't you fucking do it.”

Kyle jumped back, scared of the tone Token was using.

“I expected this from Craig-”

Craig just shrugged. “You let me-”

“Not another fucking word. Get out of my hot tub. Both of you. Before you soil it.”

Craig stood up, unashamed of his boner. It was a lot nicer than Kyle originally thought. Craig got out of the tub and pulled on his shorts. Before turning to Kyle.

“Rain check on that hand job, Broflovski.”

  
  



	18. Hiding the Body

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “This is fun.” “Seriously, we’re trying to hide a body.” Twutters

All things considered, Tweek felt oddly calm. There had been something cathartic about watching Cartman rampage having dire consequences. Nothing quite as comedic as watching the fat boy punch the book case which caused his grandmother’s urn to fall and hit his head. Everyone stood there a moment after Cartman collapsed.

“Awe shit!” Stan yelled. “His birthday was in two weeks. Now I’m never going to get more of Ms Cartman’s cake.”

“That’s what you’re worried about!?” Kyle’s voice was a little shrilled. “I can’t fucking believe you, Stan. Choosing cake over the fact his party was going to be at the carnival this year. We need to get his body out of here so no one thinks it was us.”

“You're right. Two of us.” Stan gave a tiny smile. “1-2-3 NOT IT!”

By the time Tweek realized what was going on, it was too late.

“Oh hamburgers. Every time.”

Tweek turned towards his boyfriend, giving him his best pleading eyes. He really didn't want to do this. Craig set his hand on Tweeks shoulder, the look on his face said he was about to make the ultimate sacrifice and Tweek couldn't love him more.

“Maybe if you guys just roll him, it won't be so bad.”

“I can’t fucking believe you’d -nnhhh- make me do this alone.”

“You have Butters.”

“Eat shit, Craig!”

After a bit if arguing, each boy grabbed a leg and began dragging the lard mass across the floor to the basement where they could hide him. Long enough to throw any suspicion off the boys. Once to the stairs, the two boys looked at Cartman's body, trying to figure out the best way to get it down the stairs.

Instead, Cartman's body just slid down the stairs for them. As Cartman's head bounced off each stair, reasoning came back to Tweak. Cartman was definitely dead after that. And they were responsible. Tweak did his best to keep his cool as he descended the stairs.

“You know, this is kind if fun.”

Tweek stopped dead in his tracks, and glared at the other blonde.

“Seriously, Butters. We're trying to hide a body. And you're just like this is fun.”

Butters nudged Cartman with his foot, before kicking him hard. “Yep. Sure is a lot of fun.”

Tweek growled but as he walked by he stepped on Cartman's hand. They were a lot less gentle with the corpse after that, allowing it to hit everything possible as they carried it to a corner to be shoved in.

“Ya know, we're probably going to get in trouble and I'll be grounded for life.”

“I think being grounded is the least of our worries, man” Tweek said through gritted teeth. “We're going to fucking prison! Do you know what they do to pretty boys Iike us in prison!?”

 

“Awe shucks! Ya think I'm pretty? Well you're pretty too pal!” Butters leaned in and gave Tweek a peck on the cheek. “I better get that out of my system before I'm grounded. Thanks Tweek.”

 


	19. Just friend for tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to.” cryde?
> 
> So it was supposed to be Cryde and I Wrote Cryle becauses I can't read.

 

Craig always had this aura about him that made him feel 7 feet tall, intimidating and that he gave no fucks about anything. Yet right now, he looked so small and fragile. Kyle felt like one wrong look and Craig would just crumble into dust. Being rain soaked and standing on his front step probably didn't help any bit.

Kyle hoped dearly this had nothing to do with earlier today.

“Jesus fuck Kyle, I know that judging look. Could you just- fuck. Just please be my friend right now and not the guy I confessed to?”

Kyle was taken back by Craig's apparent outburst, but he stepped aside to let the man walk into his house. He led Craig up to his room, directing him in as he went to the hall closet for a towel. Kyle closed the door behind him as he stepped into his room and held out the towel for Craig.

“Craig, what's wrong?” Kyle asked as he continued to drip onto the carpet.

Craig shrugged but made no move for the towel. “My dad's in the hospital. It's his heart but it wasn't another heart attack.”

“Shit dude! Do you need a ride-”

“I walked here from the there. I don't need a ride back. He's stable. I just-”

Kyle understood. He didn't want someone smothering him like Tweek or Clyde would. He didn't need the worried side glances from Kenny, or the constant “it's going to be fine,” from Token. He wanted someone who would pretend like nothing was wrong. Kyle threw the towel at Craig's head.

“Fucking, dry your hair and get out of those wet clothes before you ruin the carpet.”

Kyle pulled out a shirt and hoped his sweatpants were long enough for Craig.

“Underwear?”

Kyle scrunched up his face. “Gross dude. Free ball it till yours are dry.”

Craig gave a half shrug and dropped his sopping wet clothes on Kyle's floor. Kyle scoffed, picking them up to throw them in the dryer. He rang the the wet clothes out in the empty washer a bit before throwing them in the dryer, making sure nothing was in the pockets. On his way back up stairs, Kyle snagged a bottle of Kosher wine how mom was saving for a holiday.

Kyle wasn't entirely sure why he had rejected Craig earlier that day. The way the looked, tapping at his phone, lounging on Kyle's bed reminded him how attractive he was. Of course Kyle didn't actually reject him. Craig had walked off the minute Kyle said “Dude.” Granted it was in a very “I don't know” tone.

“Have you seen that new Flat Earth Documentary on Netflix?”

Craig looked up. “No.”

Kyle smiled and grabbed his laptop. “God. We're watching it then.”

He sat on his bed next to Craig and pulled up what he wanted to watch. The laptop rest upon both their legs and gave Kyle a moment to crack open the wine. The wine wasn't a norm between them, but Craig didn't hesitate taking it from him and drinking some. He pulled back the bottle and look at the label.

“Is this actually what Cartman is talking about when he talks about Jewish magic? Delicious as fuck wine?”

Kyle laughed as he sent off a message to his mom saying Craig was sleeping over. She'd probably already heard about his dad and wouldn't put up an argument, quite the opposite.

“Yeah. He mad gel his demonic ass can't drink kosher wine.”

Kyle didn't stop Craig from leaning into him more as the movie went on, each cracking jokes throughout the movie. Eventually, Craig's head rest upon Kyle's shoulder. He took the last drink and handed the empty bottle back to Kyle. He started at it a moment, suddenly remembering “indirect kissing.”

“I never said no.” Kyle blurted out.

“I know. And I'd rather we not talk about it now least I feel like you're pitying me.”

“I wouldn't-”

“You dated Nel-”

“Alright. Fine.”

“Good.”

The silence between them felt odd to Kyle. It wasn't tense, just odd and he wanted to fix it.

“Stop.” Craig's demand caught Kyle off guard. “I'll fucking ask you out some other time and we can deal with it then. Until then, we're friends.”

 

“Alright friend. You get the floor.”

 

He felt Craig let out a snort. “Asshole.”


	20. You can't take it back (1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to.” cryde?
> 
> Only this time it's actually Cryde. Kinda. With Creek. It was supposed to just be this but I was forced to write a second half.

 

“Just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to.”

The words rang in Craig's ears even though he whispered them. It had been a dick move on Clyde's part to confess to Craig in the first place. Regardless of his reasoning. Craig was dating Tweek. That hadn't changed in 10 years and it wasn't about to just because Clyde said he'd liked him. Just because-

Craig didn't want to think about the other becauses there were.

“Craig,” Tweek hollered from the kitchen, “who is it?”

Craig hadn't told Tweek about the confession. He didn't think it was necessary. He was doubting that choice now.

“It's Clyde. He was just-”

Tweek appeared at Craig's side. “I just heard dude.”

Clyde shoved his hands in his pocket and shrugged. “That's kind of why I'm here. Token kicked me out.”

“Of course he did. Come in. You can stay in the guest room for a few weeks.”

Craig held his emotions in check as he let Clyde in and closed the door. The pleading look in Clyde's eyes begged him to just act like nothing happened. That it was all normal.

But Craig couldn't.

He had feelings for Clyde. And knowing what he knew made it hard not to act on them. 


	21. You Can't Take It Back (2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 “Just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to.” cryde?

“I'm pretty sure Bebe's cheating on me.” The words made Craig's blood boil. How could anyone cheat on Clyde. He was like a lost puppy sometimes. An asshole, but a lost asshole puppy.

“That sucks.” Clyde just shrugged at Craig's words and swirled his drink. It really did suck. Clyde liked Bebe and Craig hate to see his friend hurt.

“Craig,” The tone in Clyde's voice made Craig's heart thump harder. He said nothing, just raising his eyebrows questioningly as he took a sip of his hot coffee. “I like you.”

“I'd hope so. Would make this friendship awkward if not.” The words did more to Craig's heart than he let on. The thumping in his chest seemed to vibrate through his body.

“Dumbass. I mean romantically.”

Blood rushed through his body causing a fuzzy sound in his ears. Craig wanted to reply. He wanted to give Clyde the same feelings he was feeling now. Instead, his auto reply kicked in before his brain could finish processing Clyde's word.

“I like you, too.”

Clyde's eyes seemed to glistening the way they did when he laughed. “Craig are you even listen?”

Craig turned towards Tweek. He looked worried that Craig had been so obviously zoning out. He couldn't stop himself. Every time he saw Clyde, the confession played over in his head but with different scenarios. What if he'd stopped Clyde before the confession? What if he'd confessed back? What if it had never gotten to that point?

He couldn't just avoid Clyde until it blew over either since he was currently staying in Tweek and Craig's spare bedroom. Worse was he was eating at the table with them because Tweek insisted. It had to be hard for Clyde, Craig knew that. Having been kicked out of his apartment by his best friend and roommate who was sleeping with his, now, ex girlfriend while being forced to eat meals and sleep under the same roof as his currently rejected love interest.

Craig wasn't completely apathetic and self-centered. This was probably harder on Clyde than him. Especially since being rejected basically three times happened in less than 10 hours.

But it was difficult to remind himself Clyde was going through a rough time when he was being forced to be around his boyfriend of 10 years and someone he's been harboring feelings for, for four. He wanted to tell Clyde he felt the same way, that he wanted to see where it would go. But he also didn't want to give up the comfort and familiarity of his relationship with Tweek.

“Sorry, I think I'm getting sick. Having a hard time focusing.”

Tweek hummed as he felt Craig's forehead. “You feel fine. Maybe you just need a nap.”

“Yeah. I think I'll try that.” Craig didn't miss the sad look in Clyde's eyes as he stood up and left the kitchen.

Napping was impossible. His thoughts consumed him so much, he couldn't even enjoy memes or exciting space discoveries. Taking it over with someone was impossible since the only person he trusted enough was Tweek and everyone else would be concerned about the level of emotions coming from Craig.

The bedroom door opened and closed, yet Craig didn't look up from his phone. He just tapped at it, as if scrolling through Reddit, trying not to think about what it would be like to kiss Clyde.

“Why are you making this weird?” Craig's heart broke at Clyde's tone. “It's so bad, Tweek thinks you're hiding something from him.”

Craig took a deep breath to avoid saying “I am” and instead focused on what he would tell Clyde to try and smooth things over.

“I'm not making things weird.”

“Yeah. You are. You're the king of not letting shit bother you, yet here you are, completely ignoring everything anytime I'm in the room. I'm sorry I told you I liked you. I was hoping it would help me get over you. Why can't you just shrug this off like everything else?”

“I did.” Craig never looked up from his phone. He knew he wouldn't lie to Clyde if he saw  _ that look _ in them again. He was a garbage liar to start with. “I'm just not feeling good is all.”

“You didn't.” Clyde hissed. It usually was funny when he did it, obviously wanting to yell but not speak louder than a whisper. “You didn't tell Tweek what happened. You won't even look at me! You acted like nothing happened when Kenny confessed. Why the fuck can't you do that now.”

“Because I don't like Kenny that way.” Craig couldn't stop himself from answering. There was no stopping it. “Because Kenny is nothing more than a friend to me. That's why, Clyde.”

“So am I. Why can't-” Clyde's phone wrang, cutting him off. Craig heard the door open and Clyde's voice get smaller as he talked to Jimmy.

Craig heaved out a sigh. Clyde was too dense to get what Craig was saying, and he was grateful for that. But Craig felt like shit. He knew he should just tell Tweek so they could laugh it off and move on, but Tweek knew him too well. He'd see right through Craig. He always did.

It was useless to try and think about anything that wasn't Clyde at the moment and Craig knew it. He wasn't sure how he was going to get over it with Clyde  _ right there _ . It was impossible. Craig pulled up YouTube and set his phone on the nightstand to give himself something to at least look at.

_ “Craig, I like you.” _

_ “I'd hope so. Would make this friendship awkward if not.” _

_ “Dumbass. I mean romantically.” _

_ “I'm with Tweek.” Craig tried desperately to make the conversation end. _

_ “I am well aware of that information. It doesn't change the fact that I like you.” _

_ “I'm with Tweek.” Craig repeated. He didn't know what else to say to put out the rejection Craig felt he needed to but desperately wanted to tell him same. _

_ The silence between them was deafening to Craig. Each passing second felt like eternity to Craig as he kept his emotions on check. He felt bad, but it wasn't a lie. He was in fact, with Tweek. _

_ “Alright. This was a mistake. Can't even get rejected.” Clyde grabbed his drink and left a stunned and silent Craig. _

“Craig.” Tweek's tone spoke volumes. “What's going on?”

He really didn't want to have this conversation. Tweek let out a sigh as he sat on the bed. Their shitty mattress forced Craig to roll it Tweek a bit. Normally Craig liked how they were all but forced to cuddle as they slept. Now however, it was bothersome.

“It's fine if you have feelings for someone else. Just talk to me about it.”

Craig rolled over to face Tweek. “It's not fine. It's terrible becauses its not like I want to dump you but at the same time I sometimes wish you were Clyde.”

“And I like to watch straight porn more than gay.”

Craig let this new information sink in. “So you're Bi?”

Tweek shrugged and absently played with Craig's hair. Having something to play with always helped him. “Yeah. I've never said anything because I don't want you to judge me but yeah, I'm bi. Dude, you ever think like maybe you're like poly?”

“I don't know.”

“It doesn't make you any less gay. You're still a big fat flaming homosexual.”

Craig let out a snort laugh at their inside joke. They were quite as Craig pondered over what Tweek had said. His boyfriend was bi and- what? Was Tweek encouraging him to date Clyde? Did Tweek want an out and this was perfect?

“Tweek. Is there someone else you like?”

Tweek was quite a moment, still idly running his fingers through Craig's already messy hair.

“Honestly, no. I find other people attractive. Like much the same way we both were checking out Stan that one time, but nothing other than pure sexual lust.”

“What if all I want is pure sexual lust from Clyde?”

“Is it?”

Craig allowed himself to dwell on his feelings for his friend. It wasn't just lust. He wanted Clyde to be a part of his daily life. He allowed himself the briefest moment to think about walking into the kitchen with Tweek cooking something and Clyde sitting at their bar, telling him one of his over the top stories, full of sound effects and hand gestures. He'd seen it once before and it felt like such a perfect thing to Craig.

“What if I do want a poly relationship?”

“That's just a hurdle we need to cross together then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I left it open on purpose. Also Clyde is fucking dense. Just throwing that out there. 
> 
> And if you're curious, Token and Clyde were roommates but Token was also sleeping with Bebe so... Yeah.


	22. Tending Wounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 67 “You’re bleeding all over my carpet.” wonder tweek and Kenny
> 
> Warnings: Mention of blood

 

“You're bleeding all over my carpet.”

“Yeah. I hear that happens when The Coon uses bitch-fit on you.”

It was strange to Kenny to find someone else bleeding profusely from a wound. Usually it was him, alone, and slowly dying in some back alley. The life of a superhero was amazing. He ushered Wonder Tweek into his bathroom and sat him on the edge of the tub. 

He turned on the water, allowing it to warm up a bit before grabbing his first aid kit. He was glad he'd had to use it enough times that he'd had actually added things to it normal ones didn't have, including a gun in case his injury was just to bad.

“Jesus Christ, man! I'm not a horse!”

Kenny chuckled as he set the gun aside. “Don't worry. I'm not sure you'd make good Ikea Meatballs.”

He grabbed the scissors to cut away Tweek's sleeve, carefully pulling the material away and out of the wound. Despite the old and fresh blood mingling together on his arm, it didn't look that bad. Kenny threw the sleeve into the trash before turning on the shower spray. He'd installed the shower wand for this purpose. With the spray as gentle as possible, he did his best to clean away the blood. Once all the old blood was gone, he turned it off and grabbed one of his bottles of saline solution to really clean out the deep scratch marks.

“You're going to need stitches, dude.”

Kenny watched Wonder Tweek's face twitch. “No hospitals.”

“That means me. And I'm not a doctor.”

“You think I don't fucking know that man?”

“Alright but this is going to hurt.”

Kenny grabbed a syringe and bottle from a secondary kit he kept hidden. It was full of hospital grade equipment, including some lidocaine. He paid careful attention to where he was injecting near the wounds. It was obviously going to take multiple hits, seeing as all four scratches were relatively long. The first few shots caused Tweek to hiss in pain, which Kenny knew from experience, was understandable.

“I've only ever done this on myself,” Kenny said picking up the needle and suture. “How's it feeling?”

“Well. I can't feel it and that's- hnnnn rather concerning.”

“That's a good thing. Means the lidocaine kicked in.” Kenny was grateful Coon spread his fingers so wide to gouge at people. “What happened?”

“Man. You know how fucking insane the Coon is. I was just stopping him from attacking innocent people in the park because he still has no fucking clue what rape is.”

Kenny hummed as he concentrated on the stitches. Normally he didn't care how they looked, but Wonder Tweek had stroked his ego. Kenny would never admit it, but he liked it.

“Where did you learn how to do this?”

“Not sure you want that answer, Wonder Tweek.”

“Man! We already established your not a doctor!”

Kenny sat back a bit and sighed. “Home Ec, YouTube tutorials, and Mrs Smith down the hall.”

“Granny Smith!?”

“Yeah she use to be a nurse.” Kenny went back to work, still concentrating on making nice stitches, but not caring as much. “She's the one who told me where to go to get medical supplies.”

“I don't think a medical supply shop sells whatever the hell you put into my arm.”

“I can't tell you all my secrets, Tweek.”

He finished and gave Wonder Tweek instructions for the next few weeks as he carefully covered the stitches. Tweek followed him into his bedroom for a fresh pair of blood free clothes. He helped Tweek out of his ruined clothes, a little worried the stitches would pop and into some fresh ones. Kenny settled Tweek into his bed and went back to his closet.

“What are you going to doing?” Tweek asked as Kenny pulled off his own bloody shirt.

It sounded innocent enough, like he could be asking about anything, but they both knew what Tweek was asking. Kenny stayed silent a moment as he pulled on his Mysterion suit.

“Not quite kill him. But leave him out of commission for a while.”


	23. Making Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote some soft Creek for validation purposes only. Validate me.

Something Creek

Tweek's stubble pricked at Craig's lips. He didn't care. He didn't care that he smelled like he hadn't showered in a week or that Tweek looked like he hadn't slept in as equally as long. All that mattered was Tweek was there. 

Their lips brushed as Tweek pressed himself harder into Craig. 

“Kiss me, Craig.”

There was no time wasted as Craig pressed their lips together. It was a familiar dance as their lips glided against the others, hands grasping at whatever part of each other they could reach. Tweek's hand resting behind Craig's head, preventing him from moving away if he wanted. One hand of Craig's was sandwiched between their chest as he used the other to pull Tweek's hips into his own. He wanted them to meld together. To become one so he'd never have to deal with being apart from Tweek again. 

“Craig,” Tweek whispered pulling back just enough to rest his forehead on Craig's. 

His lips were red swollen from the brutal kiss, Craig was sure his looked the same. Tweek closed his eyes and let out a breath.

“Let's not go so long without making up again.”

Craig let out a shaky laugh. “It's been so horrible without you.” He raised his head a bit to kiss Tweek's forehead. Nose taking in the smell that was just entirely Tweek. It sent memories flooding in he'd nearly forgotten in their time apart. 

Something pulled at Craig's mind. He tried to hold it off but it wasn't budging. Sunlight flooded his eyes and suddenly he was alone again. It was just another dream. Craig groaned as he rolled over to grab his phone. He couldn't take this anymore. He needed Tweek back and if it meant apologizing for something he didn't even do, then so be it.


	24. Rare Pair Twyle (1)

Rare pair Twyle

“Bubbee, take off your hat.”

“Mooooom-”

“Is this really how you want to look at prom!? You take off that hat right now mister and hand it over!”

Kyle groaned as he walked by but did as his mom demanded. His hair instantly grew three sizes. The hat always did a good job of hiding how out of control his hair truly was. 

“Jesus Christ. Is that where you hide your dildo?”

Kyle threw his hat at Ike who didn't duck. He just accepted a hat to the face as gracefully as possible before pering inside. 

“It's not in here.”

“If you wa-”

“Boys!” Kyle instantly shut his mouth but glaired a bit at Ike. They both knew Ike could get away with a lot more than Kyle could. “Now, let me get a few pictures of my handsome bubbee!”

Kyle sighed but stood in the spot where his mom liked to take pictures. She gave him the usual instructions as she snapped away on the digital camera he'd talked his dad into getting her. She'd had some cheap one from when digital cameras were first huge and it took garbage pictures. Even though her phone took better pictures than the camera, she insisted on using it. So Kyle insisted his dad just get the best. 

The doorbell ringing was Kyle's saving grace. He rushed over to answer it with his mom still taking pictures. He was just going to slip out no need to drag his date into the mess. Kyle opened the door just enough to slip out.

“KYLE!” He froze mid step. “Don't you dare walk out that door!” 

He hung his head in defeat, whispering sorry before allowing Tweek to enter the house. The camera detected the darker outdoors and triggered the flash. Both boys groaned at the blinding light. The clicking stopped long enough for Kyle to close the door and his eyes to readjust from the flash. 

The first time all night, he smiled. There had been some concerns about suit colors, but Kyle didn't want to be just another couple in the same ol boring black tux. The rich blue color looked better on him than Kyle could ever imagine. There was no hope for Kyle, there never was with his red hair and green eyes. He'd always look like a fashion wreck so he'd chosen their tuxes based on what Tweek would look good in.

“Your hair.”

Kyle's smile faded. Of course his hair would ruin their night. 

“My mom confiscated my hat. Sorry it's-”

“I love it.”

Tweek surprised him by giving him a light kiss on the lips. 

“Gaaaaaaaaay.”

“IKE MIOSHA BROFLOVSKI!”

Tweek's eyes went wide and he pulled away a bit from Kyle. He's always been nervous about kissing in front of people so having him do it spoke more to Kyle than any reassuring words.

“Mom. It's fine. It's a joke we all do. Can you take the pictures so we can go?”

The camera snapped a few pictures as Kyle pulled Tweek closer. He leaned into Tweek a bit as he placed an around around Kyle's back. 

“So, do you both just bottom to keep your hair messy?”

“I'm starting to think you need to tell us something Ike.” Kyle gave his brother a knowing look. 

The camera beeped it's low battery, giving Kyle and Tweek the perfect opportunity to leave. He barely dodged his mom's spit covered thumb as he ducked out the door and rushed to Tweek's beat up Prius. Once in the car, he gave his boyfriend a proper kiss. 

“You look amazing.” Kyle could feel himself glowing as he said it.

“Except for the hair.”

“Especially the hair “

Tweek smiled. “Same dude. You look amazing. Should we tell your brother that we do in fact switch?” 

Kyle bucked his seat belt as Tweek started the car. “Nah. He'll figure it out on his own. Now. Let's go so I can show you off like a trophy wife.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just imagine Ike being called by his full name and grumbling "It's sir Ike I'm a knight."


	25. Rare Pair Twyle (2)

Rare pare Twyle 2

 

Something tickled Tweek's nose. Instead of moving away from it, he buried his hair farther into what he knew, even in his still sleepy state, were Kyle's curls. He placed a kiss wherever his lips came in contact with. Kyle shifted against him, pressing himself into Tweek. He smiled, face still buried into the curls, and wrapped an arm around Kyle and hugged him. 

“Morning,” Kyle yawned lacing his fingers together with Tweek's. “How you feeling?”

“Good.”

“Two bottles of wine, and you feel good?”

Tweek hummed and rubbed is nose in Kyle's hair to move a bit if it away from his mouth. 

“As long as I wake up like this, it's good. Hangover or not.”

“You want to wake up to a mouth full of hair?”

“Your hair's better than my hair.”

Kyle scoffed but said nothing. Tweek allowed himself to relax completely. He could feel the warm sunlight from the window across his feet. A couple of birds chirped outside. The sound of other people moving around in the house caused Tweek to tense up. 

“Whose bed are we in?”

He felt Kyle suppress his laugh, his body shaking slightly against him. “Dude, have you seriously not opened your eyes?”

Tweek shook his head, rubbing his face into Kyle's hair. 

“We're in my room. Token refused to allow us to stay because he thought we were going to fuck in one of his guest rooms.”

Tweek let out a grunt as he tried to get closer to Kyle. 

“I should just cut it.”

Tweek's heart thumped hard in his chest. He was sure Kyle could feel it. 

“Cut what?” It took everything Tweek had not to go into father questioning. Cut off ties with him? Cut the act? Did Kyle want to break up?

“My hair. I should cut it off.” 

Tweek relaxed and placed another kiss to Kyle's skull. “I like it.”

“I mean sure but it just gets everywhere.”

Tweek thought over Kyle's words. He sounded like he didn't really want to. He knew Kyle hated his hair but he also knew it was mostly because of Cartman. Tweek really did love Kyle's hair. It was mesmerizing just watching the red curls bounce in his half drunk state. When he pulled it back for basketball, it did thinks to Tweek's heart he couldn't explain. He liked Kyle for more than his hair but he'd be lying if the fiery curls didn't do things to him. 

But he felt the same about his hair. He understood Kyle's struggles more than anyone. Even though his wasn't the tight curls Kyle's was, his was impossible to tame. It was everywhere it wanted to be and the only control he had were hats and hair ties. 

“Alright. Then I'll get mine cut.”

Kyle gasped. “But I like your hair.”

“Yeah but. It wouldn't be fair if you cut yours and I didn't cut mine.”

“Wow. Wow. I can't believe you'd do this to me! I can't believe you'd threaten your hair like that. You don't even like getting your hair trimmed!”

“And you don't actually want to cut your hair off. So I guess we're just stuck with our crazy hair.”

“You're right.” Kyle rolled over and placed a tender kiss to Tweek's lips. He ran his fingers through Tweek's hair. “If we cut our hair we couldn't do this.”

Tweek had no time to process what was being said before Kyle tugged at his hair. That did things to him. A special shared thing between the two of them, and Kyle was using it.

“That's a very important reason to not cut our hair.”


	26. Pizza Delivery (E: Kenny/Butters)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Butters likes delivering pizza

Pizza delivery

Butters straightened his uniform before knocking on the door. He loved delivering pizza. It allowed him to meeting interesting people, to see the joy on pizza lovers faces and tired mom's. It was quite an interesting job itself. He especially liked delivering pizza to Kenny's house. It was a new experience every time and he doubted today would be any exception. 

Butters knocked on the door and waited. He could hear noise from inside before the door swung open. Kenny stood there in the most intense get up Butters had seen in quite some and it made him feel funny. He didn't realize Kenny had such pale skin and the black silk looking dress thing just seemed to add to it. The lace at the bottom seemed a little weird but it was so short, Butters was more concerned with an accidental penis, but it did make Kenny's legs look long and gorgeous. To top it all off, Kenny's cover up did nothing to actually cover him up despite it's floor length since it was made out if a very sheer material lined with faux fur. 

"I-" Butters swallowed the lump forming in his dry throat. "I have a large sausage pizza here for you." 

"Oh, yes. Let me give you some money."

Kenny turned around to a small end table by his couch and bent over, causing the back of the dress to pull up, revealing the bottom of Kenny's butt. Butters staired for a moment before averting his eyes as Kenny stood up. 

"Oh no, I appear to be short on cash," Kenny said holding out what money he did have. The action caused the thin strap of his dress to fall from his shoulders along with the sheer cover-up. "Is there anything I can do to pay for this pizza?" 

The way Kenny said anything had Butters' tummy doing flips. Kenny was so sexy like this, it was hard to tell him no.

"It's alright buddy! I got you covered. You can just pay me back!" 

He trusted Kenny to pay him back because Kenny always did, with a nice big tip. Kenny's jaw dropped in what Butters could only interpret as surprised, but it made Butters tummy do more flips. He was so glad he could cause such speechless joy in his friend. This is why he loved delivering to Kenny's house. He always tipped nicely and always had the best reactions every time he showed up. 

"Alright enjoy your pizza Ken! I'll see you later."

"Yeah. Later. Thanks for this." Kenny smiled softly as he shut the door. 

Butters really loved delivering pizza. Every day was a new experience!


End file.
